Yesterday had more downs than the ups. I'm getting my permit in December, and my License in June! An up is that my sister is going to help provide for a car for me! But, still this wasn't what I clearly want. I want to be able to take someone out in the LAST YEAR of my fucking school year. But my feelings may subside if I get the used car that I've been dreaming of. Seriously, not being able to drive takes 99% of my comfort zone with anyone. If I get a car, it may literally be over with my senior year. That's why everything that happens now means so much to me. I want to keep moving as much as possible. I'll be going to college after, and I know things won't be the same as high school. I know they're are many fish in the ocean, but how do you catch the right fish, and keep things going?
It'd be nice if I can snag a used MR2.
Anyways,
I don't think I'll step out of my zone for a while. Maybe I'll end up curling up into a ball throughout my senior year?.I kinda curled up my junior year, since I didn't really talk to anyone special. It's for sure that I didn't have anyone in mind for the whole year. That kinda made me feel like shit even more. However, that question pops in mind ," Can we try some other time?" Well, until things clear up in my head, I'll probably have to go with the flow of time. "Like a feather in air,".
But yeah, freal tho. I don't imagine myself dating ANYONE I know in our senior class. ^ hence the curl into a ball reference. 1/2 the girls are probably chilling with some dudes smoking it up, or popping pills. That leaves the other half to be fake. I don't know where to find anyone genuine anymore in the senior class. I know them too well, and nothing can be gained from that.
I hate memorial grove. I don't get to meet much new people because of that place. No one walks by the place enough. Not enough commuting people! I want some friends of mines to MOVE to a bench in the B Commons, where the previous seniors were. & Someone I asked to move to different benches said we were staying at memorial for 3 years and might as well continue. Wtf? That place is muddy as hell in winter/spring time. Sprinklers even went off on us a couple of times. 50 feet away are some pretty dorky kids who hit each other every damn day. Don't tell me that I'm changing, I'm telling you that hanging out at memorial was a mistake! B commons also has closer lunch lines, benches, and more passive people roaming around. And, no mud or sprinklers.
Anyways, RAH! will be sending in my sweater in a few days. Next thing on the list is cologne.
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